This weekend was a time I have been looking forward to and afraid of for months. MAYfest (music, art and yoga) was happening and I was presenting three times! I was scheduled to do two lectures on my book The Sweet Ass Self-Help Book and a Live Music Blindfolded Chakra Balancing Dance Class.
I was so excited because this was my first time as a presenter at a festival.
I was scared because this was my first time as a presenter at a festival.
Fear and excitement are basically the same things. The only difference is there is breath in excitement.
I remember the first time I ever did a workshop for people. It was a Sugar Blues talk at a health food store that I had worked for at the time. The night before I threw up. I prayed that no one would show up. But people did and I spoke to them and I didn’t die. It was a miracle! This time I was normal person nervous which even though it can be very uncomfortable, is something I’m extremely grateful for. If I wasn’t afraid of anything I would hang out in tiger cages and jump out of planes without a parachute. Thank goodness I feel afraid of things or I would not be here writing these words. The fear that I felt did feel the same physically as if I was being chased by a wild hyena. I felt it and asked myself, “If I do this lecture and dance class is my life in danger?” The answer was obviously a no and so even though I felt the fear and every cell of my body was yelling, “Run!!!” I decided that I should feel the fear and do the classes anyway.
A couple of hours before my first lecture I was deciding if I should sit in my cabin and go over what I wanted to say and freak out a little or if I should go to Marti Nikko and DJ Drez’s yoga class. I chose the latter and I’m so grateful that I did. Yoga changes you. It has an effect on your body, mind and spirit. It quickly zaps you right into the present moment because really…that’s all we’ve got. Sometimes I forget. Yoga reminds me.
After class I went up to the library where my lecture was taking place, sat on the floor and waited for people to arrive. Every time someone walked in I was so grateful for their presence. It was a beautiful day out and these people chose to come spend some time with me inside. I shared parts of the book, talked about my experience writing the book and how I had no idea what I was doing and gave everyone opportunities to share. We laughed. We cried. We supported each other.
Before I wrote the book I knew I had to write it and if no one likes it or even picks it up, it’s ok because it was something I had to do. But everyone in the room loved it! And that’s ok with me too.
My second lecture went just has smoothly as the first. I want to do this speaking stuff more so if anyone out there has an opportunity for me I’m totally open to it. Send me a message!
My next presentation was my Live Music Blindfolded Chakra Dance Party. I was nervous about this one because even though I have taught this workshop many times at my own retreats, we’d always been in a contained space where no one else was around. Being on the main stage at a festival brings a whole new element to the class and I wasn’t sure how it was going to be received.
I started out sharing why I started doing this and why this work is so important. We then took a couple of breaths together, said a group, “I’m sorry” for banging into anyone during the class and went for it. Live music was provided by the Funky Dawgz Brass Band and they rocked our worlds with an energetic Uptown Funk and led a group sing-a-long to This Little Light of Mine. Will Hanza from the Breakneck boys delighted our eardrums by playing a beautiful and calming acoustic guitar. I mixed in some recorded music that was played through the main stage’s PA system. In between songs I shared stories to go along with each chakra as we sent that chakra a little love.
At the end of the class I asked everyone to share one word to express how they are feeling right now.
Magical. Joyful. Childlike. Happy. Fluffy. Blissed out. Connected. Those were just some of the words people were feeling.
I asked them how it was for them and it was so cool to hear how everyone’s journey was so different. One women felt like it was really unsafe at first and decided to let that go. One person said that the group clapping that spontaneously happened made her feel self-conscious while another person said it made her feel connected. Some people forgot that there was anyone else in the space. Other people could feel their energy. Some people felt like they looked silly, but then let go of ego and rocked it out. One man who didn’t participate told me that it changed his life just by watching and that next year he’s totally participating.
It’s kind of like life. Everyone is on their own journey and experiencing things in their own way and they are all perfect. There is no right or wrong.
If anyone out there would like me to present this class I’m totally open to it. If you know of a place that would like something like this, connect me. Send me a message. <3
I would like to give a shout out to Melia and Dave Marzollo for believing in me and allowing me to bring a little of my magic to their amazing event. I’m so grateful!!
If anything I shared resonated with you, I’d love to hear about it. Leave a comment below.
The awesome in me sees and bows to the awesome in you,