If there’s one book you should read (besides mine slated to release in February) it’s The 4 Agreements by Miguel Ruiz.
Today we’re going to talk about the second agreement, “Don’t Take Anything Personally.”
This one is one of the hardest agreements for most people to master and let me tell you…I’m still working on this one. It’s a doozy!
You may be totally right. I may be totally crazy…but if I am immune to opinions and actions of others then I won’t become the victim of needless suffering by obsessing on whether or not you think I’m crazy.
I put myself out in the world on a daily basis by sharing videos, photos and words. Sometimes people say really nice things and sometimes people are just downright mean. Some of the negative comments I’ve received looked like this:
“You would look better with a bag over your head.”
“Her only talent is breathing.” (On a video of me dancing)
“Taraleigh Weathers is friggin annoying.”
“Are you kidding me with this sh*t.”
“Horse-face!”
You get the point. People can be mean. A couple of years ago these comments would have crushed me. I would have forgotten about all the positive feedback I received and focused on these worrying whether or not I was ugly, annoying and had any talent. Since I read The 4 Agreements I looked at those comments in a different light.
“Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.”
Maybe those people were jealous. Maybe they were bored. I don’t know what motivated them take the time and energy to try to tear me down, but it’s ALL about them and not at ALL about me. People who are happy wouldn’t write these things about someone they don’t even know in real life. It’s obvious they’re suffering and I feel compassion for them and forgive them. Knowing it has nothing to do with me allows me to move on. It allows me to be immune to the opinions and actions of others and kept me from being the victim of needless suffering.
The same goes when I get positive feedback. I won’t let all the awesome things you all say about me go to my head because nothing others do is because of me. It’s pretty arrogant to think what others say and do is all about me. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality…so if you are taking the time to give someone positive feedback it is a projection of your own reality. If you find yourself trolling message boards and leaving mean comments about people think about what that means about you…since it’s ALL about YOU and YOUR Reality.
Is this concept hard for you to put into practice? I totally get it. I get a lot of support around this since I’m a human being and as a human I have an ego.
What are you taking personally right now? How can you apply this agreement to the situation? Let’s talk about it. Join the conversation.
Thank you for taking the time to read this. I’m grateful for you.
Love and light,
one of my favorite books of all time. I keep a print out of the 4 agreements tacked to my tack board in my office and look at it daily 🙂
That’s a great idea Terra.
“People who are happy wouldn’t write these things about someone they don’t even know in real life.”
I experienced this as truth yesterday from the perspective of being a happy person. Waiting in line to order some iced coffee during a break from my jobs, I stood between 2 people who who were very expressive about the establishment’s level of customer service.
The man in front of me pointed out all kinds of things I had already noticed, and had written off as inconsequential. The cashiers are too slow. The line isn’t moving. Everyone behind the counter is bumping into one another. And so forth.
What he was telling me, and that he felt the need to tell me these things, didn’t really change my opinion about standing in line. I remained content. What he told me only served to shape my opinion about him. It was his projection of reality.
The person behind me did the same thing. Her complaining didn’t change my mind about our circumstances either. We were all experiencing the same wait. They were unhappy, and griping, but their words didn’t change a thing about the reality of the situation. I was happy to be getting coffee. End of story. 🙂
Ok, don’t take this personally, but I think you’re freakin’ awesome. Namaste TlLY
Duncan
Sent from my iPhone